Kick-Ass (2010) quotes
Director
Matthew Vaughn.
Cast
Aaron Taylor-Johnson.
Nicolas Cage.
Chloë Grace Moretz.
Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a superhero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.
So… Have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?
– Damon Macready
Can I get a puppy?
– Mindy Macready
You wanna get a dog?
– Damon Macready
Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one, and a Bratz movie-star make over Sasha!
– Mindy Macready
I’m just fucking with you Daddy! Look, I’d love a Benchmade model 42 butterfly knife.
– Mindy Macready
Oh, child… You always knock me for a loop!
– Damon Macready
Yeah! I think I’m in love with her, dude.
– Todd
She looks like she’s about 11 years old but…
– Marty
I can wait! I solemnly vow to save myself for her.
– Todd
I can see how that would be really difficult for you.
– Marty
– Todd
She looks like she’s about 11 years old but…
– Marty
I can wait! I solemnly vow to save myself for her.
– Todd
I can see how that would be really difficult for you.
– Marty
The fuck is wrong with you, man? You’d rather die for some piece of shit that you don’t even fucking know?
– Diner Fight Guy 1
The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what’s wrong with me? Yeah, I’d rather die… so bring it on!
– Dave Lizewski
– Diner Fight Guy 1
The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what’s wrong with me? Yeah, I’d rather die… so bring it on!
– Dave Lizewski
Show’s over, motherfuckers.
– Hit Girl
– Hit Girl
I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, TV shows. You think that one eccentric loner would’ve made himself a costume. I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools and offices so thrilling that I’m the only one who fantasized about this? Come on, be honest with yourself. At some point in our lives we all wanna be a superhero.
– Dave Lizewski
That’s not me,by the way. That’s some Armenia guy with a history of mental health problems.
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
That’s not me,by the way. That’s some Armenia guy with a history of mental health problems.
– Dave Lizewski
With no power, comes no responsibility. Except, *that* wasn’t true.
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
What’s the difference between Spider-Man and Peter Parker? Spider-Man gets the girl.
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
How do I get a hold of you?
– Dave Lizewski
You just contact the mayor’s office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it’s in the shape of a giant cock.
– Hit Girl
– Dave Lizewski
You just contact the mayor’s office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it’s in the shape of a giant cock.
– Hit Girl
Dave? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?
– Katie Deauxma
Because I am Kick-Ass!
– Dave Lizewski
What are you talking about?
– Katie Deauxma
I’m also not gay!
– Dave Lizewski
Fuck!
– Katie Deauxma
– Katie Deauxma
Because I am Kick-Ass!
– Dave Lizewski
What are you talking about?
– Katie Deauxma
I’m also not gay!
– Dave Lizewski
Fuck!
– Katie Deauxma
Fuck you, Mr. Bitey!
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
Mindy, no more homework, Babydoll. Time for Frank D’Amico to go bye-bye.
– Damon Macready
– Damon Macready
Okay you cunts… Let’s see what you can do now!
– Hit Girl
– Hit Girl
Fuck this shit, I’m getting the bazooka!
– Huge Goon
– Huge Goon
If it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead.
– Dave Lizewski
And if it wasn’t for you… my dad wouldn’t be.
– Hit Girl
– Dave Lizewski
And if it wasn’t for you… my dad wouldn’t be.
– Hit Girl
You owe that girl a childhood.
– Sergeant Marcus Williams
I’ll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D’AMICO!
– Damon Macready
– Sergeant Marcus Williams
I’ll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D’AMICO!
– Damon Macready
Yeah, that’s right! We’re superheroes! You love us!
– Chris D’Amico
– Chris D’Amico
Jesus, guys, doesn’t it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman.
– Dave Lizewski
Yeah, what’s with that? She has like no tits at all.
– Marty
Maybe it’s the porn tape, he doesn’t have a porn tape.
– Todd
You guys never saw “One Night In Spiderman”?
– Marty
– Dave Lizewski
Yeah, what’s with that? She has like no tits at all.
– Marty
Maybe it’s the porn tape, he doesn’t have a porn tape.
– Todd
You guys never saw “One Night In Spiderman”?
– Marty
Go to Robiiiin’s Reveeeeeeeenge!
– Big Daddy
– Big Daddy
Aww dude, that is one *gay* looking taser.
– Hit Girl
– Hit Girl
This is awesome! I look like frickin’ Wolverine!
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
Dave Lizewski. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you looking at my tits, Dave. Oh, yes! I want your hands all over me. Please fuck me, Dave!
– Mrs. Zane
– Mrs. Zane
Hit-Girl, back to headquarters!
– Damon Macready
– Damon Macready
So, you wanna play?
– Hit Girl
– Hit Girl
Like most people my age, I just existed.
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
Even with my metal plates and my fucked up nerve endings, I gotta tell you, that hurt! But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind. Katie, my dad, Todd and Marty… and all the things I’d never do. Like learn to drive or see what me and Katie’s kids would look like or find out what happened on “Lost”. And if you’re reassuring yourself that I’m going to make it through this since I’m talking to you now, quit being such a smart-ass! Hell dude, you never seen “Sin City”? “Sunset Boulevard”? “American Beauty”?
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
Like every serial killer already knew: eventually fantasizing just doesn’t do it for you anymore.
– Dave Lizewski
– Dave Lizewski
Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The green condom? You know it ain’t Halloween for another few months, kid?
– Leroy
– Leroy
God I wish I had a son like you… time for the family reunion!
– Frank D’Amico
– Frank D’Amico
Take cover child!
– Big Daddy
– Big Daddy