Zoolander 2 (2016) quotes

Director
Ben Stiller.

Cast
Ben Stiller.
Owen Wilson.
Penélope Cruz.

Derek and Hansel are lured into modelling again, in Rome, where they find themselves the target of a sinister conspiracy.

You’re asking me why I killed Justin Bieber?
– Mugatu

Please accept my apologies.
– Valentina
None taken.
– Derek Zoolander

I’m going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.
– Derek Zoolander

Do you ever have feeling, where you see young teenage girl with perfect skin, and you want to kill her? And take her skin, and put it on your skin? We’ve bottled that feeling.
– Alexanya Atoz

You really are amazingly stupid, aren’t you?
– Mugatu

I lost my baby.
– Kiefer Sutherland

Does being fat mean you’re a terrible person? I’m really asking you, Hansel.
– Derek Zoolander

Neil Degrasse Tyson? You don’t know who you are, either?
– Hansel

Think about it, man. This could be a sign!
– Billy Zane
What if it’s a stop sign, Billy?
– Derek Zoolander

He’s still so hot right now!
– Mugatu

Is it true you have sex for ten hours?
– Hansel
No comment.
-Sting
Fifteen…
– Sting

I hope you’re not apopleptic because they’re going to take a lot of pictures.
– Derek Zoolander

We’re back!
– Derek Zoolander

Who-oo-oo-ooohh am-mm-mm-mm I-ah-ah-aye?
– Katy Perry
That was beautiful…
– Hansel

You’re the most narcissistic person I’ve ever met.
– Derek Jr.
But that’s not how I see myself.
– Derek Zoolander

I’m sorry, I can’t understand a word that you’re saying.
– Derek Zoolander

Prison changed me! I’m bad to the core now!
– Mugatu

All is All.
– All

Blood of Steve! Blood of Steve!
– Valentino Garavani

They’re Sexy Fighting!
– Mugatu

If you want to find the spirits in the material world you need to talk to the ghost in the machine.
– Sting
What? Who is this?
– Hansel
I have a message in a bottle for you, so don’t go to the police.
– Sting

WHO AM I!
– Hansel

My mom told me my dad was a beat cop.
– Hansel

Prison changed me. I’m a psycho!
– Mugatu

Neil, I gotta say, you’re totally blowing my mind right now.
– Hansel
That’s what I do. I’m Neil deGrasse Tyson, bitch.
– Neil deGrasse Tyson

I’ve missed not knowing things with you.
– Derek Zoolander