The Princess Bride (1987) quotes

Director
Rob Reiner.

Cast
Cary Elwes.
Mandy Patinkin.
Robin Wright.

While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
– Inigo Montoya

Give us the gate key.
– Westley
I have no gate key.
– Yellin
Fezzik, tear his arms off.
– Inigo Montoya
Oh, you mean *this* gate key.
– Yellin

We’ll never survive.
– Buttercup
Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.
– Westley

HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
– Vizzini
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
– Inigo Montoya

You mock my pain.
– Buttercup
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
– Man in Black

First things first, to the death.
– Prince Humperdinck
No. To the pain.
– Westley
I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
– Prince Humperdinck
I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
– Westley
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
– Prince Humperdinck
It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
– Westley
And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
– Prince Humperdinck
I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
– Westley
And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
– Prince Humperdinck
WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what “to the pain means.” It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
– Westley
I think you’re bluffing.
– Prince Humperdinck
It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
– Westley
DROP… YOUR… SWORD!
– Westley

Beat it or I’ll call the Brute Squad.
– Miracle Max
I’m on the Brute Squad.
– Fezzik
You ARE the Brute Squad!
– Miracle Max

Who are you?
– Inigo Montoya
No one of consequence.
– Man in Black
I must know…
– Inigo Montoya
Get used to disappointment.
– Man in Black
‘kay.
-Inigo Montoya

Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.
– Dread Pirate Roberts

Have fun stormin’ da castle.
– Miracle Max
Think it’ll work?
– Valerie
It would take a miracle.
– Miracle Max

But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
– Inigo Montoya
That’s VERY comforting, but I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait.
– Man in Black
I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
– Inigo Montoya
No good. I’ve known too many Spaniards.
– Man in Black
Isn’t there any way you trust me?
– Inigo Montoya
Nothing comes to mind.
– Man in Black
I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
– Inigo Montoya
Throw me the rope.
– Man in Black

I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
– Vizzini
You’re that smart?
– Man in Black
Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
– Vizzini
Yes.
– Man in Black
Morons.
– Vizzini

Surrender.
– Prince Humperdinck
You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
– Westley

I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
– Inigo Montoya
Do you always begin conversations this way?
– Man in Black

Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.
– Inigo Montoya
Have you ever considered piracy? You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
– Westley

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
– Inigo Montoya
Stop saying that!
– Count Rugen

Hear this now: I will always come for you.
– Westley
But how can you be sure?
– Buttercup
This is true love – you think this happens every day?
– Westley

I’ve seen worse.
– Miracle Max

We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.
– Buttercup
No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt – no problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
– Westley
Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?
– Buttercup
Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.
– Westley