Shanghai Knights (2003) quotes

Director
David Dobkin.

Cast
Jackie Chan.
Owen Wilson.
Fann Wong.

When a Chinese rebel murders Chon’s estranged father and escapes to England, Chon and Roy make their way to London with revenge on their minds.

Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that’s my watch you’re holding.
– Roy
Well, there’s a load of us, and only two of you, so piss off!
– Fagin #1
Easy fellas, you lost one war this way, don’t make the same mistake twice.
– Roy

Look at you!
– Roy
Look at you!
– Chon Wang
What brings you to New York?
– Roy
My share of the gold.
– Chon Wang
Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?
– Roy

It’s just a rock with some gibberish on it!
– Roy
It’s Chinese!
– Chon Wang

The English are not very friendly.
– Chon Wang
They’re just sore losers.
– Roy
What did they lose?
– Chon Wang
A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
– Roy
Never heard of it.
– Chon Wang
I’ll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat ’em like a drum.
– Roy

I just saved you!
– Chon Wang
You were late!
– Chon Lin

Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of a field?
– Chon Wang
I don’t know, Chon, these people are nuts.
– Roy

So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
– Roy
No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
– Chon Wang
That’s what I love about China. Everybody’s job description sounds so damn cool!
– Roy

Roy O’Bannon will not go quietly. You hear that, England? Throw whatever you want at me! Your terrible weather! Your perverted killers! Your Spotted Dick!
– Roy

You just smashed my puzzle box. I’ll never figure out my message.
– Roy

If you break her heart, I break your legs.
– Chon Wang
That’s fair.
– Roy

You know what I call him? Not Roy O’Bannon. Roy O’Boloney!
– Chon Wang

So what are we gonna do? Come on, think! I’m not going to an English prison. With my feathery blond hair and Chon’s athletic build, they’ll try to make us the bell of the ball.
– Roy

I call that my kung pow chicken.
– Roy

Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. “Roy O’Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy.” Or how about “Roy O’Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen?”
– Roy

Once, I sent him over the Great Wall. He was lost for three days!
– Chon Lin

She’s gonna fight my battles for me.
– Roy

Just go ahead and drown me! I don’t care anymore!
– Roy

It’s a puzzle box. I don’t know how to open it.
– Chon Wang
What do you mean, you don’t know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
– Roy
No. I must have patience. By the time I’m able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.
– Chon Wang
Oh, come on, Confucius, that’s the corniest thing I’ve ever heard!
– Roy

Hey, Chon, you’re lucky I didn’t invest in that ridiculous “auto-mobile” idea. Yeah, that’s gonna make a lot of money.
– Roy

Ok, Chon, ya little Chinese otter. Let’s play.
– Roy