Life Aquatic (2004) quotes

Director
Wes Anderson.

Cast
Bill Murray.
Owen Wilson.
Anjelica Huston.

With a plan to exact revenge on a mythical shark that killed his partner, oceanographer Steve Zissou rallies a crew that includes his estranged wife, a journalist, and a man who may or may not be his son.

Don’t point that gun at him, he’s an unpaid intern.
– Steve Zissou

This is an adventure.
– Steve Zissou

Son of a bitch, I’m sick of these dolphins.
– Steve Zissou

Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off… Nobody else got hit? I’m the only one? What’s the deal?
– Steve Zissou

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.
– Steve Zissou

Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?
– Alistair Hennessey
Well… uh… we fuckin’ stole it, man.
– Bill Ubell

I’ve never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!
– Ned Plimpton

Stevesy, what’s going on? Are those hijackers?
– Ned Plimpton
Well, out here we call them “pirates,” Ned.
– Steve Zissou

We’ve never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I’m part gay.
– Alistair Hennessey

She’s a rich bitch; she was raised by maids.
– Steve Zissou

Why didn’t you ever try to contact me?
– Ned Plimpton
Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.
– Steve Zissou

Please don’t make fun of me. I just wanted to flirt with you.
– Steve Zissou

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I’m going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.
– Steve Zissou

People say that when someone says something like that, it’s because they’re jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
– Steve Zissou
That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.
– Ned Plimpton

Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.
– Steve Zissou

We’ll split into two groups. I’ll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
– Steve Zissou
Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
– Klaus Daimler

No, Captain! That’s Cedric. He’s a friend.
– Bill Ubell
Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we’ll send him a red cap and a Speedo.
– Steve Zissou

I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.
– Steve Zissou

They made soup out of my research turtles.
– Alistair Hennessey

Are we – are we safe in here?
– Jane Winslett-Richardson
I doubt it.
– Steve Zissou
Do you still want to blow him up?
– Klaus Daimler
No, we’re out of dynamite anyway.
– Steve Zissou
It is beautiful Steve.
– Eleanor Zissou
Yea, it’s pretty good isn’t it… I wonder if it remembers me…
– Steve Zissou

I’m so pissed I want to spit!
– Alistair Hennessey

Where’d you come from? You look pregnant.
– Steve Zissou
I am pregnant. I’m not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.
– Jane Winslett-Richardson

Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
– Anne-Marie Sakowitz
Yeah, we’re taking the shortcut.
– Steve Zissou
But it’s outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn’t any protection.
– Anne-Marie Sakowitz
I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that’s about four inches. We go my way, it’s an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?
– Steve Zissou

Are you finding what you were looking for… out here with me? I hope so.
– Steve Zissou

If you’re not against me, don’t cross this line! If yes, do.
– Steve Zissou

You really think it’s cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?
– Steve Zissou

We’re a dying breed.
– Oseary Drakoulias

I’m going to have to start locking my effing door.
– Jane Winslett-Richardson
It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don’t you just curse like other people?
– Steve Zissou
Because I’m trying to get out of the habit before I have my fucking baby!
– Jane Winslett-Richardson

You know I’m not good at apologizing, so I’ll just skip it if it’s all the same to you.
– Steve Zissou