Last Action Hero (1993) quotes

Director
John McTiernan.

Cast
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
F. Murray Abraham.
Art Carney.
Ian McKellen.

With the help of a magic ticket, a young movie fan is transported into the fictional world of his favorite action movie character.

You think you are funny, don’t you?
– Danny Madigan
I know I am. I’m the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger.
– Jack Slater
Schwarzenegger!
– Danny Madigan
Gesundheit.
– Jack Slater

No sequel for you.
– Jack Slater

Where are the ordinary, everyday women? They don’t exist because this is a movie!
– Danny Madigan
No, this is California.
– Jack Slater

FREEZE! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter grey, got it?
– Whitney Slater

I thought I was going to die.
– Danny Madigan
Well I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’re gonna live to enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer – acne, shaving, premature ejaculation… and your first divorce.
– Jack Slater

Iced that guy, to cone a phrase.
– Jack Slater

SLAAAAAAAAAATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
– Dekker

Did Nicholson show up for the premiere of “Batman” dressed as the Joker? I don’t THINK so!
– Ripper’s Agent

Kid! Who does the doctor treat?
– Jack Slater
Patients?
– Danny Madigan
Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing?
– Jack Slater
Wearing thin?
– Danny Madigan
Bingo!
– Jack Slater

Big mistake!
– Jack Slater

If God was a villain, he’d be me.
– Benedict

Stop shouting! I’m not deaf!
– Jack Slater

Here, in this world, the bad guys can win!
– Benedict

I don’t care who does what to your Hershey highway!
– Jack Slater

I don’t do fiction. Not my field.
– Death

I’ll be back! Ha! You didn’t know I was gonna say that, did you?
– Jack Slater
That’s what you always say!
– Danny Madigan
I do?
– Jack Slater

Who the hell are you?
– Jack Slater
Don’t shoot me. I’m Danny Madigan. I’m a kid.
– Danny Madigan

I’m not really a big fan of Arnold’s… She is, you know… Arnold really turns her on and I just want to be there when it happens.
– James Belushi

Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.
– Jack Slater
No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.
– Benedict

What if staying in the car is what gets me killed?
– Danny Madigan
There’s a gun in the glove compartment.
– Jack Slater