Kingsman The Secret Service (2014) quotes

Director
Matthew Vaughn.

Cast
Colin Firth.
Taron Egerton.
Samuel L. Jackson.

A spy organization recruits an unrefined, but promising street kid into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program, just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

Sup man? Is this the part where you say some… really bad pun?
– Valentine
It’s like you said to Harry: This ain’t that kind of movie, bruv.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
Perfect.
– Valentine

Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?
– Harry Hart

I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far.
– Lancelot

Is he dead?
– Valentine
That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.
– Gazelle

Sorry, love. Gotta save the world.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
If you save the world, we can do it in the… asshole.
– Princess Tilde
I will be right back.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin

It’s not that kind of a movie.
– Valentine

Would sir care for a drink?
– Waiter
Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin

You throw away your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss’ car.
– Harry Hart
You shot a dog just to get a fucking job!
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
Yes, I did.
– Harry Hart
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit!
– Harry Hart
You shot your dog and had it stuffed? You fucking freak!
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
No, I shot my dog and then brought him home and continued to care for him for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis.
– Harry Hart
What?
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
It was a blank, Eggsy. It was a fucking blank. Remember Amelia?
– Harry Hart
Yeah.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
She didn’t drown. She works in our tech department in Berlin. She’s fine. Limits must be tested. A Kingsman only condones the risking of one life to save another.
– Harry Hart
My dad might have saved your life, even though your fuck-up cost his? What, you’ve got him stuffed here and all?
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin
Can’t you see that everything I’ve done has been about trying to repay him?
– Harry Hart

I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
– Harry Hart

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.
– Harry Hart

Thank you for such a ‘happy’ meal.
– Harry Hart

Looking good, Eggsy.
–  Merlin
Feeling good, Merlin.
– Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin