Hancock (2008) quotes

Director
Peter Berg.

Cast
Will Smith.
Charlize Theron.
Jason Bateman.

Hancock is a superhero whose ill considered behavior regularly causes damage in the millions. He changes when the person he saves helps him improve his public image.

All of you people, blocking the intersection, you’re all idiots.
– John Hancock
You’re the one that threw the dude’s car at her. And what’s with the train?
– Rail Crossing Crowd #1
Why didn’t you just go straight up in the air with the car? You’ve obviously injured that poor woman.
– Rail Crossing Crowd #2
She’s right. She should sue you.
– Rail Crossing Crowd #3
Okay. Well, you should sue McDonald’s, ’cause they fucked you up.
– John Hancock

And I can smell that liquor on your breath!
– Rail Crossing Crowd #2
‘Cause I been drinking, bitch!
– John Hancock

Good job!
– Hancock

We broke up decades ago. Long before you were born. He just can’t remember.
– Mary Embrey
But you can. Right? You knew? That’s something you might want to bring up on the first date, Mary. “I don’t like to travel. I’m allergic to cats. I’m immortal.” Okay? Those are some of the things you might want to give a little heads-up on.
– Ray Embrey
Whatever we are, we were built in twos, okay? We were drawn to each other. No matter how far I run, he’s always there. He finds me. It’s physics.
– Mary Embrey
What are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
– Ray Embrey
I’ve lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I’ve learned: Fate doesn’t decide everything. People get to choose.
– Mary Embrey
And you chose to let me think I was here alone.
– Hancock
I didn’t think you’d miss what you didn’t remember.
– Mary Embrey

I hate to burst your little crazy-lady bubble, but it most not been all that great, ’cause I don’t remember you.
– Hancock
Call me crazy one more time.
– Mary Embrey
Cuckoo.
– Hancock

If you don’t give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver’s ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short stick, cause your head is going up my ass!
– Hancock

Did he… just take the whiskey bottle to the bathroom?
– Mary Embrey
Do you want him to kill us all?
– Ray Embrey

Good job! Do I have permission to touch your body?
– John Hancock
Yes!
– Female Cop
It’s not sexual. Not that you’re not an attractive woman. You’re actually a very attractive woman and…
– John Hancock
Get me the hell out of here!
– Female Cop

Three guys in the car with no girls. Rave music. Hey, I’m not going to judge.
– Hancock

So you’ve used the door, the building’s still intact, people are happy you’ve arrived, they feel safe now, there’s an officer there and he’s done a good job, so you might want to tell him he’s done a good job.
– Ray Embrey
What the hell did I have to come for Ray if he’s done a good job?
– Hancock

Hancock!
– Boy at Bus Stop
What, boy?
– John Hancock
Bad guys.
– Boy at Bus Stop
What you want, a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
– John Hancock
Asshole.
– Boy at Bus Stop
What?
– John Hancock
You heard me.
– Boy at Bus Stop

Call me an asshole one more time.
– John Hancock

People should love you. They really should, okay? And I want to deliver that for you. It’s the least that I can do. You’re a superhero. Kids should be running up to you, asking for your autograph, people should be cheering you on the streets…
– Ray Embrey
What the hell you pricks looking at?
– Hancock

Gotta wonder, though. What kind of bastard must I have been, that nobody was there to claim me? I mean, I’m… I’m not the most charming guy in the world, so I’ve been told, but… nobody?
– Hancock

Will I get in trouble for that?
– Ray Embrey

If you don’t move, your head is going up his ass. Y’all fellas sure you wanna ride this train?
– Hancock
Choo, choo, asshole…
– Matrix

I’ll break my foot off in your ass, woman…
– Hancock

I’m gonna teach you how to interface with the public.
– Ray Embrey

Konnichiwa!
– Hancock
What? I’m not Japanese, man! Put us down!
– Asian Gang Member
Oh, now you speak “Engly,” huh? “Speak Engly,” now?
– Hancock

Oh stop crying, punk-ass.
– Hancock

You broke my glasses.
– Hancock
I’m sorry. Take my Ray Bans!
– Asian Gang Member

My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem is… do you want to hear it?
– Ray Embrey
No.
– Hancock
You’re an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It’s not a crime to be an asshole, but it’s very counter-productive. Not a crime, but you are an asshole, don’t you think?
– Ray Embrey
Be careful.
– Hancock

If Ray ever finds out about me, you’re dead.
– Mary Embrey

He hurt you. Didn’t he? Aw, use your words. How did it make you feel?
– Kenneth ‘Red’ Parker Jr.
Sore.
– Man Mountain
Bad.
– Matrix
It’s ’cause he took your power. And you have to get your power back. And no one will give you your power back. You have to go out and take it. You understand me? We’re gonna find Hancock… and get your power back.
– Kenneth ‘Red’ Parker Jr.

You’re gonna change the world. Good job, Ray.
– Hancock