The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) quotes

Director
Wes Anderson.

Cast
Ralph Fiennes.
F. Murray Abraham.
Mathieu Amalric.

The adventures of Gustave H, a legendary concierge at a famous hotel from the fictional Republic of Zubrowka between the first and second World Wars.

You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that’s what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant… oh, fuck it.
M. Gustave

Keep your hands off my lobby boy!
M. Gustave

[to Mme. Celine’s corpse] You’re looking so well, darling, you really are… they’ve done a marvelous job. I don’t know what sort of cream they’ve put on you down at the morgue, but… I want some.
M. Gustave

Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won’t get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.
M. Gustave

Is it simply your last connection to that banished world – his world, if you will?
Young Writer
His world? No, I don’t think so. You see, we shared a vocation, it wouldn’t have been necessary. No, the hotel I keep for Agatha. We were happy here, for a little while. To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I will say, he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace.
Mr. Moustafa

Serge X, missing. Deputy Kovacs, also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy With Apple, stolen. By us. Dmitri and Jopling, ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H, at large. What else?
M. Gustave
Zero, confused.
Zero
Zero, confused, indeed. The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?
M. Gustave
I don’t know.
Zero

By order of the commissioner of police, Zubrowka Province, I hereby place you under arrest for the murder of Madame Celine Villenueve Desgoffe-und-Taxis.
Henckels
I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She’s been murdered, and you think I did it.
M. Gustave
[runs away]

 

There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity… He was one of them. What more is there to say?
Mr. Moustafa

Me and the boys talked it over. We think you’re a really straight fellow.
Pinky
Well, I’ve never been accused of that before, but I appreciate the sentiment.
M. Gustave

Who’s got The Throat-Slitter?
M. Gustave

If I learn you ever once laid a finger on my mother’s body, living or dead, I swear to God, I’ll cut your throat! You hear me?
Dmitri
I thought I was supposed to be a fucking faggot.
M. Gustave
You are, but you’re bisexual.
Dmitri

Did he just throw my cat out of the window?
Deputy Kovacs

What happened?
Zero
What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, who had the gall to question my virility. Because, if there’s one thing we’ve learned from penny dreadfuls, it’s that when you find yourself in a place like this, you must never be a candy ass; you’ve got to prove yourself from day one. You’ve got to win their respect. You should take a long look at HIS ugly mug this morning.
M. Gustave
[Takes a sip of water and laughs]
He’s actually become a dear friend.
M. Gustave

I must say, I find that girl utterly delightful. Flat as a board, enormous birthmark the shape of Mexico over half her face, sweating for hours on end in that sweltering kitchen, while Mendl, genius though he is, looms over her like a hulking gorilla. Yet without question, without fail, always and invariably, she’s exceedingly lovely.
M. Gustave

[Of Mme. Celine] She was dynamite in the sack, by the way.
M. Gustave
…She was 84, Monsieur Gustave.
Zero
Mmm, I’ve had older. When you’re young, it’s all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say.
M. Gustave

Well, what does it say? Where is it? What’s it all about, damn it? Don’t keep us in suspense, Serge, this has been a complete fucking nightmare! Just tell us what the fuck is going on!
M. Gustave

[Regarding “Boy with Apple”] I’ll never part with it. It reminded her of me; it will remind me of her, always. I’ll die with this picture above my bed. See the resemblance?
M. Gustave
Oh… oh, yes.
Zero
[Just minutes later] Actually, we should sell it.
M. Gustave

What is a lobby boy? A lobby boy is completely invisible, yet always in sight. A lobby boy remembers what people hate. A lobby boy anticipates the client’s needs before the needs are needed. A lobby boy is, above all, discreet to a fault. Our guests know that their deepest secrets, some of which are frankly rather unseemly, will go with us to our graves. So keep your mouth shut, Zero.
M. Gustave