Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) quotes

Director
David Yates.

Cast
Eddie Redmayne.
Katherine Waterston.
Alison Sudol.

The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York’s secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school.

Uh, Mr. Scamander?
– Jacob Kowalski
Oh, call me Newt.
– Newt Scamander
Newt. I don’t think I’m dreaming.
– Jacob Kowalski
What gave it away?
– Newt Scamander
I ain’t got the brains to make this up.
– Jacob Kowalski

Are you a seeker? A seeker after truth?
– Mary Lou
I’m more of a chaser, really.
– Newt Scamander

She was a taker… You need a giver.
– Queenie

But we made ’em cocoa.
– Queenie

Will we die just a little?
– Grindelwald

Merlin’s beard!
– Newt Scamander

What did you do today, Jacob?
– Jacob Kowalski
I was inside a suitcase.
– Jacob Kowalski

It was open?
– Porpentina Goldstein
Just a smidge.
– Newt Scamander

Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America?
– Porpentina Goldstein
I do know a few things, actually. I know you have rather backwards laws about relations with Non-Magic people. That you’re not meant to befriend them. That you can’t marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.
– Newt Scamander

I need to get going. Find everyone who’s escaped, before they get hurt.
– Newt Scamander
Before they get hurt?
– Jacob Kowalski
Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they’re currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet… Humans.
– Newt Scamander

Pickett? Come on, give me a smile. Pickett, give me a…
– Newt Scamander

You two, head that way. And try very hard not to be predictable.
– Newt Scamander

And you were just in Equatorial Guinea?
– Porpentina Goldstein
And I’ve just completed a year in the fields. I’m writing a book about magical creatures.
– Newt Scamander
Like an extermination guide?
– Porpentina Goldstein
No. A guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them.
– Newt Scamander

People are easiest to read when they are hurting.
– Queenie

You’re an interesting man, Mr. Scamander.
– Percival Graves
Mr. Graves…
– Porpentina Goldstein
You were thrown out of Hogwarts for endangering human life…
– Percival Graves
That was an accident.
– Newt Scamander
…with a beast. Yet one of your teachers argued strongly against your expulsion. Now… what makes Albus Dumbledore… so fond of you?
– Percival Graves

Put this on.
– Newt Scamander
But why would I have to wear something like this?
– Jacob Kowalski
Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.
– Newt Scamander

What, you’re not gonna Obliviate me?
– Jacob Kowalski
Of course not. You’re one of us now.
– Queenie

I’m not flirting.
– Queenie

I’m sorry, Ma…
– Credence Barebone
I’m not your Ma! Your mother was a wicked, unnatural woman!
– Mary Lou

For the last time, you pilfering pest, paws off what doesn’t belong to you.
– Newt Scamander

This, the locals call Swooping Evil.
– Newt Scamander

Now there’s absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
– Newt Scamander
Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
– Jacob Kowalski
Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
– Newt Scamander

You’re a Legilimens?
– Newt Scamander
Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It’s the accent.
– Queenie

Tell me the truth. Was that everything that came out of the case?
– Porpentina Goldstein

I’m dreaming, right? I’m tired. I never went to the bank. This all just some big nightmare, right?
– Jacob Kowalski
For the both of us, Mr. Kowalski.
– Porpentina Goldstein

Did… Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?
– Jacob Kowalski
Of course. Ilvermorny. It’s only *the* best wizard school in the whole world.
– Queenie
I think you’ll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.
– Newt Scamander
*Hogwash*.
– Queenie

People like you, don’t they, Mr. Kowalski?
– Newt Scamander
Oh. Well, I’m, uh, I’m sure people like you, too, huh?
– Jacob Kowalski
Not really, no. I annoy people.
– Newt Scamander

What was that?
– Porpentina Goldstein
Uh, moth, I think. Big moth.
– Newt Scamander

You, uh, you know how to read minds?
– Jacob Kowalski
Oh, don’t worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me.
– Queenie

I’ll come with you. We’ll go somewhere. We’ll go anywhere. See, I ain’t never gonna find anyone like you.
– Queenie
There’s loads like me.
– Jacob Kowalski
No. No. There’s only one like you.
– Queenie

Our American friends have permitted a breach of the Statue of Secrecy that threatens to expose us all.
– Heinrich Eberstadt