Daddy’s Home (2015) quotes

Director
Sean Anders.

Cast
Will Ferrell.
Mark Wahlberg.
Linda Cardellini.

Brad Whitaker is a radio host trying to get his stepchildren to love him and call him Dad. But his plans turn upside down when their biological father, Dusty Mayron, returns.

So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.
– Dusty Mayron
But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o’nine tails into the King’s smug face.
– Brad Whitaker
Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.
– Dusty Mayron
Yay!
– Megan, Dylan
But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.
– Dusty Mayron
Aww.
– Megan, Dylan
Then he grabbed the King’s sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.
– Brad Whitaker
Boo!
– Megan, Dylan
That’s when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!
– Dusty Mayron
Which is completely anachronistic. So if we’re gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.
– Brad Whitaker
Concussion grenade!
– Dusty Mayron
Hand grenade.
– Brad Whitaker
Rocket launcher.
– Dusty Mayron
Missile launcher.
– Brad Whitaker
Air strike.
– Dusty Mayron
Nuclear strike.
– Brad Whitaker
Black hole.
– Dusty Mayron
God.
– Brad Whitaker

I mean, kids at the end of the day, they know who’s been around and, holy balls!
– Brad Whitaker

The step-king has had enough of the king’s BULLSHIT!
– Brad Whitaker
Brad said a bad word.
– Dusty Mayron

Hey, are you Roger?
– Dusty Mayron
Nope.
– Cool Dad

You built all this today? With my tools?
– Brad Whitaker
Oh, no, you can’t build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.
– Dusty Mayron

Eat my dust Dusty!
– Brad Whitaker

Dusty : It looks like we got our self’s a dad-off, Brad.
– Dusty Mayron