Armageddon (1998) quotes

Director
Michael Bay.

Cast
Bruce Willis.
Billy Bob Thornton.
Ben Affleck.

After discovering that an asteroid the size of Texas is going to impact Earth in less than a month, N.A.S.A. recruits a misfit team of deep core drillers to save the planet.

Just tell Grace that, uh, that I’ll always be with her. Okay? Can you do that?
– A.J.
Yeah. Okay, kid.
– Harry Stamper
Give this to Truman. Make sure Truman gets that! Get in there.
– Harry Stamper
It’s my turn now.
– Harry Stamper
Harry! Harry! You can’t do this to me! It’s my job!
– A.J.
You go take care of my little girl now. That’s your job. Always thought of you as a son. Always. But, I’d be damn proud to have you marry Grace.
– Harry Stamper
Harry.
– A.J.
You take care of yourself.
– Harry Stamper
Harry, no!
– A.J.
I love you,pal.
– Harry Stamper
Harry, I love you! Don’t Harry! Wait a minute! Harry, no!
– A.J.
Goodbye son.
– Harry Stamper

It’s stuck, yes?
– Lev Andropov
Back off! You don’t know the components!
– Watts
Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!
– Lev Andropov

So what’s the verdict?
– Truman
They’ll do it. They’ve made a few requests though.
– Harry Stamper
Such as?
– Truman
Well, there’s uh, few things here, uh… nothin’ really big, uh, just- Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he’s got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record.
– Harry Stamper
Fifty-six tickets in seven states…
– Oscar
I’ll-I’ll tell ’em Oscar, you got it.
– Harry Stamper
Okay.
– Oscar
Uh, Noonan’s got two women friends that he’d like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Max would like you to… bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that’s gonna work, but, uh, let’s see what else. Um, Chick wants a full week’s Emperor’s Package at Caesar’s Palace. Um – hey, you guys wouldn’t be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
– Harry Stamper
Um, Bear would like to stay at the…
– Harry Stamper
“White horse”?
– Harry Stamper
White, *House*. White House.
– Bear
White House. Yeah, he’d like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that.
– Harry Stamper
Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of… some of that.
– Truman
Harry!
– Rockhound
Yeah one more thing, um… none of them wanna pay taxes again.
– Harry Stamper
Ever.
– Harry Stamper

You know we’re sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?
– Rockhound

I know the president’s chief scientific advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you-you really don’t wanna take the advice from a man who got a C- in astrophysics. The president’s advisors are, um… wrong… and I’m right.
– Ronald Quincy

Sir, I’m retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person that finds her gets to name her right?
– Karl
Yes-yes that’s right, that’s right.
– Dan
I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She’s a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
– Karl

Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Airforce, ma’am. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I’ve ever met.
– Colonel William Sharp

Daddy?
– Grace Stamper
Hi Gracie Hi honey. Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home.
– Grace Stamper
I don’t under-understand.
– Grace Stamper
Looks like I’m going to have to break that promise.
– Harry Stamper
I lied to you too. When I told you I didn’t want to be like you. Because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from you. I love you so much daddy. And I’m so proud of you, I’m so scared. I’m so scared.
– Grace Stamper
I know it baby. But there won’t be anything to be scared of soon. Gracie, I want you to know that AJ saved us. He did. I want you to tell Chick, that I couldn’t have done it without him. None of it. I want you to take care of AJ. And I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle, but I’ll… I’ll look in on you from time to time, okay honey? I love you Grace.
– Harry Stamper
I love you too.
– Grace Stamper
Gotta go now honey.
– Harry Stamper
Daddy, no!
– Grace Stamper
No no dad no!
– Grace Stamper

AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!
– Harry Stamper
That’s six words.
– A.J.

Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative!
– Dr. Banks
Sedatives are used all the time, doctor.
– Harry
Well this one’s used on horses.
– Dr. Banks
Some of these guys are pretty big.
– Harry
You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel. We have seen evidence of a wide fariety of territorial aggression.
– Dr. Banks
Can they *physically* survive the trip? That’s all I need to know here, okay?
– Dan
Personally, I don’t know how they survived the tests.
– Dr. Banks

Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.
– Chick

lt’s the size of Texas, Mr President.
– Dan
Dan, we didn’t see this thing coming?
– President
Well, our object collison budget’s a million dollars, that allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg’n your pardon sir, but it’s a big-ass sky.
– Dan
And the ones this morning?
– President
Uh, those are nothing. Uh, they’re the size of basketballs… and, uh, Volkswagens, things like that.
– Dan
Is this going to hit us?
– President
We’re obtaining that as we speak, sir.
– Dan
What kind of damage are we…
– President
Damage? Total, sir. It’s what we call a global killer. The end of mankind. Doesn’t matter where it hits. Nothing would survive, not even bacteria.
– Dan
My God. What do we do?
– President
We have 18 days before it hits Earth.
– NASA Techs

United States astronauts train for years. You have twelve days.
– Colonel William Sharp

Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I’d be comin’ home. Now I don’t know what you people are doing down there, but we’ve got a hole to dig up here!
– Harry Stamper

Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice – my choice and not yours.
– Grace Stamper
He’s the only one in your age bracket, Grace. It’s not a choice, it’s a lack of options.
– Harry Stamper

I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day “Armageddon” – the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we’ve fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you.
– President

How long you work for me?
– Harry Stamper
Five wonderful years.
– A.J.
In five years you have *never* apologized to me this quickly. Something’s goin’ on here, I’m gonna find out what it is.
– Harry Stamper

Get off… the nuclear… warhead.
– Colonel William Sharp
I was doing that guy from that movie, you know, Slim Pickens, where he rides it all the way in, the nuclear warhead.
– Rockhound
Now.
– Colonel William Sharp
Oh, you didn’t see that one, huh?
– Rockhound

First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And then he had to show me how to use them, Harry.
– Grace Stamper
Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn’t show her, Harry.
– Rockhound

Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
– A.J.
No, I never saw Star Wars.
– Lev Andropov

Just tryin’ to have some fun before I died!
– Rockhound

Just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother.
– Rockhound

I’m stepping outside.
– Lev Andropov
You’re-you’re going outside?
– A.J.
I am the only certified astronaut. And I’m saving your American ass!
– Lev Andropov

What’s up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?
– Bear

Tell me you never let anybody down.
– Dan
I never quit yet…
– Harry Stamper

Guess what guys, it’s time to embrace the horror! Look, we’ve got front row tickets to the end of the earth!
– Rockhound

What does that mean?
– Rockhound
It means we’ve got a busted ship.
– Colonel William Sharp
A busted ship? And I’m strapped in here? I had a great spot picked out there!
– Rockhound

We have a national security matter.
– F.B.I. Agent
Good for you.
– Rockhound

God, I hate knowing everything.
– Rockhound

Something’s wrong.
– Max
Yeah, it’s all wrong, man. We shouldn’t even be up here.
– Rockhound