Chris Rock quotes

Born
February 7, 1965, Andrews, South Carolina, U.S.

Occupation
Comedian.

Chris Rock is an American comedian.

I have my own demons and dark moods. It’s weird.
– Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I’m like an ambulance chaser. I’ve got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
– Chris Rock
A man is only as faithful as his options.
– Chris Rock
I’ll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
– Chris Rock
Yeah, I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?
– Chris Rock
A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
– Chris Rock
There’s some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
– Chris Rock
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
– Chris Rock
When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
– Chris Rock
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
– Chris Rock
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
– Chris Rock
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
– Chris Rock
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who’s angrier than Toby Keith? He’s angrier than the average 10 rappers.
– Chris Rock
Hollywood’s just not funny.
– Chris Rock
My first year on ‘SNL’, I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I’m thinking, ‘I’ve got 45 grand left!’ Taxes didn’t even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture.
– Chris Rock
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
– Chris Rock
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
– Chris Rock
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn’t curse.
– Chris Rock
My movies are okay, but they’re not my specials.
– Chris Rock
President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.
– Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks… and stolen by the white man.
– Chris Rock
Dude, I didn’t say Jude Law can’t act. I didn’t say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he’s in every movie.
– Chris Rock
I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that’s not my true personality either. It’s the personality of a guy who hasn’t been able to say what he wanted to say.
– Chris Rock
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you’re trying material.
– Chris Rock
I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity.
– Chris Rock
You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.
– Chris Rock
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.
– Chris Rock
I’m a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
– Chris Rock
Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I’m not picking on my wife.
– Chris Rock
I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
– Chris Rock
When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.
– Chris Rock
You don’t need a critic to tell you people aren’t laughing.
– Chris Rock
If I find a comedy club where no one’s camera works, I’ll go.
– Chris Rock
I’d like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie.
– Chris Rock
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
– Chris Rock
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren’t rich were paying for their hair. When you’re in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody’s paying five grand for a weave, that’s a bit much.
– Chris Rock
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
– Chris Rock
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
– Chris Rock
I think my best work is when I’m kind of in charge.
– Chris Rock
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I’m kind of a contemporary guy. I don’t think you want to see me in ‘Raisin in the Sun’.
– Chris Rock